Being over protective

 Protecting, over protection, love - Do all of the above mean the same ? Or are they similar?

You are generally protective about people you love and when this protection becomes over protection is something we really dont realise at times

And trust me this happens hell lot of times

Especially with parents , siblings or i guess any relationship this could be the case

When we ourselves dont want to b told what has to be done every time but we do expect that the person we”love” should hear us and do just the way we want, no deviations pls 

He or she can never get wrong, and the definition of wrong here is anything which one does not think is right is definitely wrong and how could he/she do this wrong

There is no individuality left perhaps, its dependence on thoughts, actions and so to say even the thought process

A person may appear independent but is somewhere mentally dependent and is always looking for a validation from the other person

Knowingly or unknowingly he does that and the other person in all sense would want to validate every action or conversation or people he/she meets or talks to

This goes on till things are fine and unless there are no contradictory thoughts or actions coming in the way

What one needs to understand is being loved does not really means to monitor every action and judge or conclude how he/she has performed each time in every damm conversation or interaction he/she has had

It also does not mean emotional dependence by any chance

Protecting is good, but by doing any of the above, you make them weak, create a self doubt on themselves, make them question every act or talk and most importantly at times make them loose confidence too

What could be the result of this ? Could be just anything depending on the mindset or how mentally strong such individuals / what environment are they in/ what type of people are they surrounded by and so so many factors

How do you deal this the best way ? If you are over protecting or are being over protected ? Both need to get better 

First to realise is important, the person who is doing it mostly never realises and always in the thought that he has been thinking good only and how could he/she not understand 

Other way round also is true, and making them realise then understand is really difficult i bet it

Better be calm, try to be calm atleast, understand their perspective 

Well do all of that and then do what ? Feel irate/ angry or just let go - option 3 most difficult to practice but is the best one 

To make understand the other person has to be mature to first listen, forget realisation, you may definitely make an attempt or two, and if he feels you are crossing the line, better you give up on making them understand 

Rather just do your bit. Here it gets important you dont get adversely affected by thoughts, become prone to them or adverse environment or people

Just stay put, maybe you may really be wrong, people go wrong, people learn from mistakes and if they dont they may do more mistakes but end of the day mistakes are something of their own right, so its ok

Make few of those, not to repeat same ones, else its foolish

And sometimes you may repeat too coz u may not even consider it as a mistake, its just ok, nobody’s judging you

(The thing is the other person does not realise that he/she may not even be comfortable sharing their mind due to their behaviour and this can only widen the gap)

But if that helps i guess self help is the best help

Try to speak, maybe couple of times, if not self help helps, take few calm deep breaths, clam down and move on