Professional politeness

 If asked conceptually, professional politeness should not be difficult at all.

It is meant to be a basic virtue — something that naturally forms the foundation of workplace interactions.

And yet, in practice, it rarely remains that simple.

What happens when team members waste time — knowingly or unknowingly — forcing rework or prolonged discussions on non–value-adding activities?

What happens when instructions are not followed, work gets delayed, productivity drops — and despite all this, the supervisor either does not seem to understand or chooses not to, for reasons best known to them?

The list does not end there.

These situations slowly pile up, and before you realise it, you have accumulated enough reasons to lose patience — forgetting how “easy” politeness is supposed to be.

By nature, I am soft-spoken.

Even today, I rarely raise my voice unless strongly instigated.

But I have realised something uncomfortable: no matter how sincere or hardworking someone is, nobody responds well to being scolded — reason or no reason.

Things became harder when toxic individuals repeatedly tried to provoke reactions.

What surprised me more was how easily I got instigated — letting go of my own basic courtesy.

At the same time, I deeply disliked how impolite — at times plainly rude — some seniors were towards me, especially when it was not my fault.

Their reactions reflected poorly on them, not their seniority.

If expectations exist from a team, they must work both ways.

In both situations — with toxic peers and impolite supervisors — I reacted.

And each reaction only added to my own stress.

Eventually, through reading and conversations with a close friend, I realised something important:

The most effective response to impoliteness is not retaliation, but controlled politeness.

Not silence.

Not submission.

But firmness — expressed calmly.

Be clear. Be stern if required.

Pause before responding. Do not react.

I have only just begun practising this — not mastered it, not perfected it.

But the small successes I have experienced have given me a sense of calm and confidence.

That said, maintaining this resolve is a task in itself — especially when so many people seem invested in breaking it.

Politeness may not change people, but it changes how much they affect me. 

As for now that feels progress.